Monday, January 3, 2011

No lie...

So. I am not even going to lie. I am fat. I am pretty, but fat. I mean, I have high confidence in myself and think I am pretty awesome. I am probably the prettiest fat girl you have ever seen! But now I think I am ready to be pretty, and not just fat girl pretty. This blog is obviously not some stupid thing to talk about "feelings" or being sad or depressed and all that crap, because I'm not like that. I'm just fat, and I'm going to try to change it (again.)!

So...obviously not today, or tomorrow, because I am going to Hawaii next Tuesday and let's be real...I am not going to nor do I want to, be on a "diet" in Hawaii. Sorry, but no thanks. But when I come back I am actually going to JOIN weight watchers. Yes, I have done it before on my own and failed every time (I always give up after losing around 20-25 lbs), but I think actually paying $$ and going to the meetings will actually help me do this for real.

Why? Why after being enormous for 26 years (well...not really 26 years. more like 20) am I deciding to do this? Because my face is getting too round and I really want to tuck my jeans into a nice pair of riding boots. And let's face it...that is a fashion no no for those who are large. Also, I would really love to wear a pair of Christian Louboutin shoes.
These ones to the right to be particular...aren't the hot? Love them. Always have too!

A woman of my stature can not walk in those things for more than 18 seconds without dying. So...again...incentive. A $795 incentive, but hey, an incentive.

So...what are my goals? Well my friend is getting married October 2011 and I want to look good. Not size 6 good because let's face it, that is impossible. But how about size 16 good? That's a good goal. I am proportionate so a size 16 for me would look really good. Of course I would love to be even smaller but I don't want to set goals that are too ambitious. I need to take this really slow so that it actually happens.

Another goal: This is embarrassing but...I don't feel good. I have been athletic my whole life! I was always the chunker running up and down the soccer field and basketball courts. I was freakin good too! But now, since i haven't played sports in forever, I am starting to actually feel FAT. I was always active and always felt good, but now I just feel sluggish and gross. I really hate that feeling. It's awful and it needs to go away!!



Plan of action:

Weight Watchers- the real way. Weekly meetings on Monday nights. Or sometimes every other week, depending on money flow and school/work schedule. I already bought a cute journal that I can carry around with me in my bag. I cook at home for me and J so sticking to the plan should be easy. Esp for me since I have done it freakin a million times.

Exercise- Love it. Yes, I actually do. I love working out outside on a nice day! But since I decided to do this in the middle of winter...I decided to buy a dance game for kinect. No way is it enough exercise to get down to where I want to go, but it's a good start for now. Once the weather warms up I want to go out and try to get myself running. My friend is an avid runner and she makes me want to run too. There is this plan called the couch to 5k plan. I want to try that. But obviously I have to shed some poundage before that.

Motivation- Throughout this whole process I really need to just stay motivated! I think my form of motivation will come from how I feel. If I start feeling good and see results, I think I will be pretty good!


I'm not going to say what size I am now or how much I weigh, because it's none of your damn business and quite frankly....it's embarrassing. So what I will do is post from time to time about the process of losing weight and my progress.

So until next time...I will be enjoying Hawaii and looking forward to starting this long ass journey of bullshit.

xoxo

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