No joke....i'm for real.
Let me just say that I really am not a fan of 2 holidays: 4th of July and New Years Eve. There is always so much hype and then such a major let down when the celebrations fall short. For once in my 27 years of existence...the hype lived up to my expectations.
I spent the day with the people I love most. My bestest best best best friends. The people who love me the most and support my every move. My biggest cheerleaders in life and the people that mean the most to me. I am obsessively in love with them. They have been my biggest supporters during this journey and I am so grateful for them. (we will run that 5k together! I PROMISE)
Anyways...enough of the crazy girl love talk....yesterday was awesome. We spent the beautifully gorgeous day outside at the pool. Now in the past I hated being in a bathing suit and was soooooo scared of what people thought. I am so self conscious of my disgusting arms. They are the worst part of my body and I always try to cover them. I am really trying to improve them and work on getting muscle. I have a little but I still have a loooong way to go. I refuse to wear sleeveless outfits out in public. This is the first summer where I have been wearing sleeveless dresses at the beach and pool instead of tshirts. My friend even called me out last night when it was so hot and I was wearing a cardigan..."why the hell are you wearing a cardigan? take it off!!! it's too hot!!" "but....my arms!!" "JULIE YOU WERE IN A BATHING SUIT ALL DAY WITH NO SLEEVES" hhhahahaha...do you understand why I love them??
I always just assume that people would just talk smack on me as soon as I took off my tshirt and shorts at the beach/pool. Why I always thought the worst...who knew. Buuuuut nowwwww I am trying to not give a shit. Seriously...don't care. I strut my stuff around like I own the place and if people are going to talk about me...let them. Haters are your #1 fans. Apparently losing only 50lbs has boosted my self esteem a little and I thought I looked like a 60's plus size pin up yesterday. HAHA. I got a new bathing suit that is the retro style and I thought I looked kinda cute. I promise i'm not conceited....I was just proud of the work I have put in since last summer. That's all. I would post a pic of me in my new bathing suit but I already tried that on instagram and freakkkkkkked the f out and deleted it before anyone could see. Obviously NOT ready for that step....
So why am I going on and on about the 4th of July when it really has nothing to do with weightloss?? Here's why: BECAUSE I AM HAPPY! I realized something yesterday...I have been the happiest I have ever been in my life these past 3 months. The answer to why is obvious...someone is no longer in my life to bring me down. I tried to remember what 4th of July was like last year and I could barely even remember what we did. I am pretty sure we went to see fireworks and I sat on the grass ALONE and watched them because he was being a grumpy dbag and was probably mad to me for something?!? So ridiculous. If we were still together he probably wouldn't have even come with me yesterday or if he did he would have sat around and would have been a miserable idiot all day. I AM SO GLAD I GOT RID OF HIM. THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!! Now...the million dollar question: why did I wait 3 years to do it?!?! hahahahahaha fml.
Ok enough about my past...always look forward, never look back.
Now on to some weightloss:
I have been kinda slacking lately with working out. I wanted to get in some 5mile walks this week and I just haven't had time. That is no excuse but that's the one i'm using. I hope to get in a nice long one tonight. My leg has been realllly hurting me this week. I keep waking up at 3am or 5am in so much pain. I almost went to the ER Tuesday night because I can't deal with it. I am running out of percocets hahahhaha OH NO! I just called my dr. today begging for more like an addict...but seriously...so much pain. I know that the dr. said I could still walk slowly for workouts so that is what I will plan on doing. It's not the intense workouts I need/crave but it's better than doing nothing.
I ate like shiiiiiit yesterday. I mean kinda. Typical bbq food but I didn't eat like I used to (read: like a pig). I didn't drink either so that's a win. I am really going to try to cut that out again. Only 1 binge drinking episode a month. I had one last weekend so I am good for the next few weeks! hahaha so many added calories! ugh. The rest of this week I am going to try to get a walk in every night and eat clean meals only. I need it so bad.
I was excited to find that my Skinny Emmie tshirt came in this week!!! I LOVE it! The colors are sooo sooo cute and the quote is amazingggg. It really motivates me to keep working on my goals.
I think there will be another order soon!
Check out skinnyemmie.com