Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Who is This Girl?

Here is an update:

I am in the worst pain that I have been in yet.  I received my injection on Friday and so far...no relief.  I have been struggling all weekend with crazy pain.  I called the doctor yesterday asking what I should do, he said that it would take until Friday to feel the full effect of the shot. w.t.f.

In the meantime am I supposed to be in this much pain?! He said no.  So he prescribed me some strong ass pain meds. More pain meds...just what I need! (lies)

My stash.
4 months of pain.

Needless to say the pain meds didn't work.  I am only supposed to take 1 pill every 6 hours and no more than 4 in a day. Well last night from 6:30pm to 3am I took 3.  No relief.  I was up all night in tears and woke up this morning and simply just broke down.  I can't take this anymore.  I can't take the pain, the lack of sleep, the impact this has on my life.  I am done.  I can't do it anymore.  I have hit my breaking point.

I called the doctor first thing this morning to see if I should go to the hospital.  I am not sure what's next. Maybe surgery? Whatever it takes...I can't do this anymore. I just can't.

The reason why this blog is titled "Who is This Girl" is because this isn't me.  The past 3-4 months I have been someone else.  A girl who complains all the time and is so negative. THAT IS NOT ME.  I am a happy girl who loves life.  Not a girl who doesn't smile.  I look at the positive in every situation and the only thing I can think of that is positive in all this...is that I am proving to myself that I can get through whatever comes my way.  Physically and mentally this injury is changing my life and I hate it. I want to spend my days without pain and continuing to live my healthy lifestyle. I miss that more than anything.  I am not a girl who comes home from work, pops percocets and then lays on the couch all night.  That is NOT who I am.  And I refuse to let that happen anymore.  I refuse.

Last night and this morning I hit my rock bottom.  I AM DONE.  I am demanding this to be taken care of as soon as possible. I want my life back.

And I want my real smile back too...

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow at 1:30pm with the doctor who did my injection.  Most likely we will be going over the next steps. Either more injections or surgery :( I really just want a solution...


  1. Shoot girl :( I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow. Many hugs.