Here are my thoughts:
I got out of a long terrible relationship about a year ago. I kicked him out of my apartment in March and we stopped talking for good in April. I saw him in August and haven't really talked to him since. Totally over him 100%. But.........a friend told me that after a long relationship like that (3 years) that I truly needed to be single for about a year. And she was totally right. For the past year I have not wanted anything serious with anyone. I went on a few dates and had a few short lived romances but nothing serious. Because I wanted to concentrate on myself and I wasn't interested in dating anyone really. Loved it.
Recently within the last few weeks I have really started feeling lonely. Like that maybe I am ready to start dating for real again. This is so weird because I really have been single for almost exactly a year. My friend was spot on with her advice. Crazy. Anyways I totally went to bed lonely last night and wishing I had someone special in my life that liked me and thought about me before they went to sleep. It totally made me sad and a little angry.
Why was I angry? Because I personally think that I am trying really hard to be the best person I can be. Yeah I have a ton of flaws like everyone else but I think my personality is pretty legit and I'm a fun person to be around. Soooooo why do boys not like me? I have one reason, a BIG (read: fat) reason. This makes me so mad. SO very mad. And sad.
So listen to me preach right now...
I AM AN INVESTMENT.
I am currently under construction. If you can't like me while I am working hard to better myself, then I don't want you to ever like me. Especially when I am at my best. I will pay you no interest then and will ignore you. If your only reason for not paying attention to me is because of my body, then I wouldn't want you in my life anyway. The reason I am ranting right now is because I totally know this is true and I can't be the only one that feels this way. When I hang out with friends and start talking to a boy and he won't make eye contact with me or he just brushes me off...it really hurts my feelings. You don't even know me and you are judging me by the way I look and dismissing me. How mature. So sad and annoying.
But I really am an investment. If you took time to get to know me and understand who I am, then you won't be sorry. I will improve the way I look. There is NO doubt about that. I already have and I will continue to improve. And let me make this clear. When I do get there...I will be too good for you, you won't deserve me. Not because I think I am better than you, but because you always thought you were better than me. And you aren't. Does that make sense? And no, this is not about any person in particular. This is a message to all men. Ha.
Ok now some gym weightloss items...
Question for everyone: Do you like purposely try to look cute at the gym? I do. I make sure I am color coordinated and look somewhat cute in the beginning I know it's dumb but you never know who is creepin! I mean I take my makeup off but I do make sure my hair is cute. An ideal situation would be to meet a boy at the gym. It is important to me to have that fitness passion in common so that would be perfect!!! Anyways...now on to my workout.
I had my favorite awesome zumba class last night. I love it. It was an amazing sweat sesh as always. Loved every minute of it!!!
YES LOVE IT!
I look like a hot mess after. A sweaty awesome hot mess!
Me trying to be cute to go workout.
Sorry about the rant earlier. It is just something that bothers me so much. Please tell me someone else out there feels the same? Or that there really are great guys out there that don't care about that stuff?