Thursday, September 5, 2013

I've Been Outed

Gah!! Something happened last night that was absolutely awful and terrifying.

...I was outed...

And what I mean by that is, my blog has become public knowledge to a group of people that I have been hiding it form. Awesome.

So let me just fill ya in on some things. I live somewhat of a double life, I'm not ashamed to admit that.  Very few people know about Beautiful Chunk, my blog, Instagram and twitter in my real life.  They don't know that I'm on a weightloss journey and I most certainly do NOT post my blog on my facebook.  I have made a few comments here and there on FB regarding it, but I have NOT posted the blog link on there and may never. I mean it's not thaaaaat hard to find my accounts and if someone does, then it's ok I guess.  Sometimes I do block people who find it.  I don't mean it in a negative way, it's just something I'm not ready to come out with.

Why do I feel like I need to hide this part of my life? Because Beautiful Chunk is an alias that I have made for myself.  I want my blog to be 100% honest and I'm not sure how honest I can be with everyone I know in real life reading it.  I post workout pictures and before and after pictures on my BC social media and I don't think I would feel comfortable doing that if my ex boyfriends or acquaintances were looking at it.  Do you understand?  Now, on the other hand, I LOVE connecting with new people!  I love the connections I have made with "strangers" (some who have become friends) and I wouldn't even change that!  It's just different.  I think because a person who you don't know who finds your blog found it because they wanted to.  They are actually interested in what you are saying, not because they know you and are curious.  Does that make sense?

Anyways...last night I had a family dinner.  All of a sudden my aunt comes up to me talking about my blog. I was like......"How do you know about that?" and then I looked at my dad...looking so guilty.  He has outed me before about my weightloss but now he tells everyone about my blog!  Even his customers at work!! Which actually...I don't mind because I don't know them.  BUT...telling my family? Come on now! I tell him all the time that I don't want people to know about it and he still tells. UGH!! And then I yell at him and tell him that I don't want certain people to know and he gets so defensive.  Saying "I'm so proud of you I want to brag about you and tell everyone how amazing you are, I just won't say anything anymore.  When people ask about what you're up to I will just tell them she is a loser and is doing nothing" then he will tell me to just get over it.  When he says he is proud of me he makes it difficult to stay mad.  But still...this is my secret to tell, not his.  When I am ready I will tell my family.  Right now, I'm not quite there, so please don't rush me.

Does anyone else feel this way? I hope I'm not being mean about it...I don't want to be mean.  However, everyone's journey is different and they handle them in their own way.  I guess this is my way of handling things and I wish people would just be more sensitive about it.

14 comments:

  1. Julie, I can identify with this post... from your father's side of the fence. Same thing happened to me trying to brag on my grandson... I hadn't got permission to email my friends with the little video they had sent me and BOY did I get the riot act read to me. I still don't quite understand... all I can do is comply. Just cut dear old Dad some slack... he loves you and is VERY proud of you so he wants to shout it from the roof top.

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    1. This is great to hear, thank you so much! I understand he is proud of me and I need to be thankful to that! You can't get too mad at a Dad just trying to brag about his daughter! Warms my heart, but sometimes I still want to yell at him for it!! :) Thank you for your perspective, it's great to hear from both sides!! :)

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  2. I have been on WW for a year, lost nearly 75 lbs, and I still don't talk about it with people I know IRL often. It is such a private thing to be on a weight loss journey. I totally understand where you are coming from.

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    1. It IS a private thing! And I know people will say: "well if it's so private why do you put it all over the internet?!" But...it's different! I'm sure you can relate to that! Sometimes it's easier to connect with "strangers" than people IRL! :) Judgement free zone!! xoxo ummmm and congrats on 75lbs!!! You're awesome!!

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  3. I totally know what you mean. I have this thing in the back of my mind like there are a ton of judgmental people out there who are like, "what is she doing? she won't last!" And I also hate telling certain people about this kind of stuff. It's tough, because I just wanna be at the end of the road already and be like IN YOUR FACE! But I guess we gotta keep moving on and not letting anyone in the way of our goal..

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    1. So true! I'm so glad there are people out there that understand what I'm saying!!! I am so worried about the comments people would make if they know...but we totally shouldn't care what people think! But....sometimes we do. Bummer.

      Even though I am sure we are doing this weightloss journey for ourselves...it is going to feel SO good when we have our IN YOUR FACE moment!!!! :D Can't wait!!!! xoxo

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  4. I don't know that I really care who knows about my blog, but I know how you feel that sometimes it's easier having people out there you don't really know. When I joined MFP, I only had one or two people I've ever actually met in real life, and I think I preferred it that way. I've since had my mom join, and I'm not sure how often she checks in or checks my blog, but there are certain things I would hold in check if my mom is going to read my blog. In a way, I wish it was completely anonymous, just the people I've "met" online who are on this same journey!

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    1. I agree. Sometimes it is easier to have friends on social media that you don't know in real life. It's just more of a judgement free zone...for me anyways. For example, my mom and dad read my blog and just this weekend they made a comment about how I shouldn't eat so many avocados. It made me a little angry because I don't need them chiming in on my habits. If I am eating too many, let me figure that out! I guess that's just another negative of letting real people in! Oh well. :) xoxo

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  5. I just got outed this week also! I don't go out of my way to tell people I know IRL for all the same reasons.

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  6. Hi Julie,
    I just wanted to say that I am huge fan. I stumbled upon your Instagram page a few weeks ago. You have inspired me to start my own blog its called Unrecognizable-Ursie.com. Please come check it out. My weight has always been a huge issue for me. I started my own blog because I want to be held accountable for my weight. Plus its a big motivator to get me going on this new journey. I haven't linked my blog to my facebook page because there are certain people who I don't want to know what I am doing. Sorry for my ramblings but keep up all your hard work.

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    1. Hi! Your blog is so cute!!!! I love it! :) Having a blog is the best way to hold yourself accountable, at least for me. Thank you for being so sweet and good luck!! Never give up! :)
      xoxo

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  7. I have been a pretty frequent reader of your blog over the past 6 months and I appreciate your candor. I understand that anonymity = honesty. I recently started blogging as an outlet for me just to get the thoughts out. If I was able to express myself in real life the way I do on my blog, then my blog would not be necessary.

    I think there should be a rule. If a person in real life discovers a bloggers online presence, but the blogger did not specifically tell the person about the site, the person should act like they never found it and most definitely should not discuss it with the blogger. If the blogger wants the person to know they blogged or wants to verbally discuss the issues on the blog, the blogger would have told them so. Respect the anonymity. IMO...

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    1. I LOVE that rule and I hope that people use it!!!!!! :)

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