Gah!! Something happened last night that was absolutely awful and terrifying.
...I was outed...
And what I mean by that is, my blog has become public knowledge to a group of people that I have been hiding it form. Awesome.
So let me just fill ya in on some things. I live somewhat of a double life, I'm not ashamed to admit that. Very few people know about Beautiful Chunk, my blog, Instagram and twitter in my real life. They don't know that I'm on a weightloss journey and I most certainly do NOT post my blog on my facebook. I have made a few comments here and there on FB regarding it, but I have NOT posted the blog link on there and may never. I mean it's not thaaaaat hard to find my accounts and if someone does, then it's ok I guess. Sometimes I do block people who find it. I don't mean it in a negative way, it's just something I'm not ready to come out with.
Why do I feel like I need to hide this part of my life? Because Beautiful Chunk is an alias that I have made for myself. I want my blog to be 100% honest and I'm not sure how honest I can be with everyone I know in real life reading it. I post workout pictures and before and after pictures on my BC social media and I don't think I would feel comfortable doing that if my ex boyfriends or acquaintances were looking at it. Do you understand? Now, on the other hand, I LOVE connecting with new people! I love the connections I have made with "strangers" (some who have become friends) and I wouldn't even change that! It's just different. I think because a person who you don't know who finds your blog found it because they wanted to. They are actually interested in what you are saying, not because they know you and are curious. Does that make sense?
Anyways...last night I had a family dinner. All of a sudden my aunt comes up to me talking about my blog. I was like......"How do you know about that?" and then I looked at my dad...looking so guilty. He has outed me before about my weightloss but now he tells everyone about my blog! Even his customers at work!! Which actually...I don't mind because I don't know them. BUT...telling my family? Come on now! I tell him all the time that I don't want people to know about it and he still tells. UGH!! And then I yell at him and tell him that I don't want certain people to know and he gets so defensive. Saying "I'm so proud of you I want to brag about you and tell everyone how amazing you are, I just won't say anything anymore. When people ask about what you're up to I will just tell them she is a loser and is doing nothing" then he will tell me to just get over it. When he says he is proud of me he makes it difficult to stay mad. But still...this is my secret to tell, not his. When I am ready I will tell my family. Right now, I'm not quite there, so please don't rush me.
Does anyone else feel this way? I hope I'm not being mean about it...I don't want to be mean. However, everyone's journey is different and they handle them in their own way. I guess this is my way of handling things and I wish people would just be more sensitive about it.